A foundation is something that forms the base or essence. To build further, you must first master the fundamentals. In negotiation, these fundamentals are not techniques or tactics. They are the attitudes with which you approach another human being.
Research confirms that people make decisions based on emotions and only then rationalize them logically. If people were fully rational, negotiation would come down to exchanging spreadsheets. But that is not how it works, which is why the key is understanding emotion-based phenomena and knowing how to influence them.
Five attitudes of a negotiator
1. People-oriented attitude
People deserve to be treated individually and sincerely. Do not view someone through the lens of their organization. You are negotiating with a person, not a company. Even after bad experiences with previous counterparts, approaching someone with negativity creates spirals of hostility.
People are fundamentally good. If you approach a negotiation with this conviction, you open the door to agreements that would be impossible under a veil of distrust.
2. Empathetic attitude
Every interaction involves emotional dynamics. Accepting people as they are opens access to their rational thinking. When your counterpart feels understood, they stop defending their position and begin looking for solutions.
Read also: What Is Negotiation?
The definition of negotiation and the three key elements of every negotiation process.
3. Interest-focused attitude
Understand your own interests, but also deeply understand the interests of your counterpart. Showing genuine interest in and respect for the other party’s goals is the first step toward a positive relationship. Ask: “What is truly important to you?” and genuinely listen to the answer.
4. Attitude of respect
Through respect, we feel valued and treated as equals. Without respect, we cannot create the emotional environment where both sides feel positively toward each other, and that is a prerequisite for a win-win agreement. Respect is not a concession. It is an investment in the relationship.
5. The “we” perspective
Instead of focusing exclusively on your own interests, expand your attention to include those of your counterpart. Exploring interests together and approaching negotiation like solving a puzzle creates value for both sides.
Related article: Goals of Negotiation in Business
Why do we negotiate? Relationship transformation, trust building, and key competencies.
Why attitudes matter more than techniques
Negotiation techniques without the right attitudes are like tools in the hands of someone who does not know what they are building. You can know 50 tactics, but if your counterpart senses a lack of respect or empathy, none of them will work.
On the other hand, a negotiator with the right attitudes, even without knowing advanced techniques, naturally creates an atmosphere conducive to agreement. Attitudes are the foundation. Techniques are the tools you build on top of it.
Summary
Five attitudes — people orientation, empathy, interest focus, respect, and the “we” perspective — are the foundation on which every effective negotiation stands. Without them, techniques are hollow and agreements are fragile. Which of these attitudes will you consciously develop in your next conversation?
Quick win: Before your next negotiation, read through these five attitudes and choose one to focus on specifically. After the meeting, evaluate how it influenced the course of the conversation.
