Negotiations begin with the very first interaction with the other party. Not when the first numbers are put on the table. Not when you sit down. But the moment your counterpart first sees you. From the first gestures and words, they begin building an impression of you.
This is the anchoring effect: the first impression becomes the reference point for the entire relationship. Correcting a poor first impression is a time-consuming and costly process. That is why it is worth investing a moment in preparing your opening.
How to choose the right opening?
Your opening must be consistent with your chosen strategy. Buying a car requires a different approach than negotiating an annual contract with a key supplier. Before you begin, answer two questions:
- What strategy are you adopting? Competitive, cooperative, or mixed?
- How do you want to be perceived? As a tough player, a collaborative partner, or a subject-matter expert?
Opening a negotiation is like the first bars of a musical piece: they set the key for the entire composition. Changing the key mid-performance is possible, but it requires mastery.
Read also: How to Prepare for a Negotiation (Step 1)
How to prepare mentally and substantively before starting the conversation.
7 practical opening tools
Here are proven techniques to help you make a strong first impression:
1. Show acceptance
Meet the fundamental human need for acceptance. Appropriate communication, an open posture, eye contact, and a genuine smile tells your counterpart: "I am here because I want to talk with you."
2. Find common ground
The more unusual the shared interest, the stronger the bond. A common hobby, a mutual acquaintance, an industry experience: every point of connection builds a bridge between you.
3. Mind your body language and tone of voice
Up to 93% of communication is nonverbal, conveyed through body language and tone of voice. A smile, straight posture, and a calm voice say more than words.
4. Focus on the person
Listening, observing, empathizing: these tools provide valuable information about your counterpart. Instead of thinking about what you will say next, truly listen to what the other side is saying.
5. Set a time frame
Until what time will you be talking? Is an extension anticipated? Clear boundaries provide a sense of security and structure for both parties.
6. Repeat your counterpart's name
Use your counterpart's name twice in the first few minutes of conversation. A person's own name is one of the most pleasant sounds they can hear. It builds an instant connection.
7. Get a few "yes" responses early
In the first few minutes, ask questions your counterpart will answer affirmatively. You train their mind that you are someone they can agree with. It is a subtle but effective mechanism for building rapport.
Summary
The opening of a negotiation is the moment that defines everything that follows. From body language, through tone of voice, to the first words, every element creates an impression that will accompany the entire process. Which of the 7 tools will you use at your next meeting?
Quick win: At your next business meeting, use your counterpart's name twice in the first 3 minutes and ask 2 questions they will answer "yes" to. Observe the difference in the conversation dynamic.
